


To Shepard, on her 137th Birthday

by kyrrann



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 16:13:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7321978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyrrann/pseuds/kyrrann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garrus was heartbroken after Shepard died at the end of the Reaper war.  To keep her memory alive, he celebrates her birthday every year at the bar on the Silversun Strip where he and Shepard once shared a romantic dance.   Even though they have all gone their separate ways, he is often joined by members of the old crew to help him celebrate and reminisce before retiring to the end of the bar to have a drink in her honor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Zero

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based on the movie "To Gillian, on her 37th Birthday"

Garrus walked into the bar. It didn’t look like much, but with the Citadel still in shambles, he felt lucky there was a bar here at all. He guessed this part was up and running so the workers would have somewhere to blow off steam after a hard day’s work.

It was the same bar on the second floor of the casino at the Silversun Strip where he and Shepard shared a dance just a few months ago. What a night that had been. His aim was to impress her with his newly cultivated dancing skills, and while she resisted at first, he felt that it was a mission well accomplished. He smiled at the memory of moving her around the dance floor and of the night they spent after they got back to her apartment.

There were quite a few people milling around, looking happy and relaxed as they drank. He saw a few couples on the dance floor, enjoying each other’s company and he could hear the bells and trills of the casino directly below. Garrus made his way to the end of the bar and ordered two drinks, a Turian brandy for himself and a Serrice Ice Brandy for Shepard. It was expensive, but this was her birthday. Or at least what would have been her birthday if she had survived the war.

He sat down on the stool, took a sip of his drink and let his thoughts drift back to everything that happened over the last few years, from his first meeting with Shepard on the Citadel to taking down Saren and then later the Collectors. He reflected on that final battle in London which ended the war a mere 3 months ago. And while he was glad the Reapers were gone, there was a huge hole in his heart left by Shepard’s absence.

“Easy there Garrus,” said a familiar voice.

He turned to see Shepard seated in the chair next to him, as lovely as ever. She was dressed in her black and red N7 armor, just like she had been the last time he saw her. Her raven colored hair hung loosely above her shoulders, perfectly complementing her piercing blue eyes.

“You know that stuff goes straight to your head,” she cautioned.

“You’re one to talk Shepard,” he replied. “One glass of that stuff and you won’t be able to stand, at least according to Doctor Chakwas ”

Shepard chuckled at his awkward attempt at a joke. He missed seeing her smile and the sound of her laughter.

“Happy birthday, Shepard,” he said, turning back to his drink and raising the glass once more to his lips.

“Thanks, Garrus. How have you been?” she asked.

“I’ve missed you Shepard. I’ve missed you so much,” he replied. It was everything he could do to stop himself reaching over to where she was seated, to keep from shattering the illusion.

“I’ve missed you too,” she smiled back.

“So much has happened since the end of the war,” he said. “But you’re a hero. A goddamned hero. Of course, you were always my hero, but at least the rest of the galaxy sees that now.”

“Well I suppose dead heroes make the best heroes,” she mused. “No one to contradict the stories so the legend grows unchecked. I can’t wait to see what people are saying 100 years from now.”

“Yeah,” he said taking another sip of his drink. “They will probably have you defeating Harbinger in sword fight with your hands tied behind your back.”

“Yeah, and everyone knows that Harbinger is a terrible sword fighter.” she joked back.

“Ever since we teamed up to take down Saren, I have been nothing short of impressed with everything you’ve accomplished. It doesn’t seem right that you’re not here to enjoy your final victory,” he said. “But, I’ve been trying to live up to your legacy. To carry on doing things that would make you proud.”

“Garrus, you have always made me proud. I doubt there is anything you can do that wouldn’t impress me. On top of being the best sniper shot in the entire galaxy, you rescue kittens from trees in your spare time.” A small grin appeared at the corners of her mouth. “Plus, your reach is amazing. I’d say you have many skills.”

“Well, I did have to keep up with that flexibility of yours,” he teased. He paused a moment before continuing. “You know, they are trying to turn your birthday into a galactic wide holiday.”

“Well, it’s good to know I’ve finally made it,” she replied.

“True. But I wish people would stop treating me like some sort of celebrity,” he complained. “It makes me a uncomfortable when people stop to ask for my autograph.”

“Come on. With your looks and skills, you were bound to develop a huge flock of groupies,” she teased. “Be sure to tell Conrad I said hi.”

“Not funny, Shepard,” he groaned.

“How is everyone else doing?” she asked.

“Let’s see, Kaidan, was given command of the Normandy,” he replied. “He didn’t want to take it at first, out of deference to your memory, but Hackett convinced him it was the best way to honor you.”

“Good for him,” she said, “he deserves it.”

“James is poised to start the N7 program in the next few weeks.” Raising an eye, he continued, “And last I heard he has a tiny Shepard tattoo somewhere on his body, but he wouldn’t tell me where. Is there anything you want to tell me, Shepard?”

“You know he could never hold a candle to you,” she assured him. “But I would be interested in seeing this tattoo.”

“Then I’ll be sure to take pictures,” he shot back.

“How’s Joker doing?” she asked more seriously.

“About as good as I am,” he responded. “He is working with Traynor and Adams to see if there is anyway she can be restored. I don’t have much hope, but I understand why he keeps trying. If there was any possibility of bringing you back, I wouldn’t stop at anything either.”

“EDI is just one more casualty of this war that is a direct result of my actions,” she lamented.

“You had to do it Shepard,” he replied. “EDI was more than willing to sacrifice herself for Joker, for you or any one of the crew.”

Shepard sighed, “I know. But it doesn’t make it feel any better.”

Garrus looked down and saw that his glass was now empty. He closed his eyes and sat there for a few moments before getting up from the stool.

“Happy birthday, Shepard,” he whispered. “I still love you.”

As he strode out of the bar, the bartender picked up both glasses, noticing the second one was still full.


	2. Five

“Hey Garrus,” said Liara over the beat of the music, “this is really nice. Do you come here every year on Shepard’s birthday?”

“Every year for the last 5 years,” he replied. “Helps me keep her memory alive.”

“I understand,” she said. “Thank you for inviting me and the rest of the crew to celebrate the day with you.”

“I can’t think of any other people I would rather share this day with,” he said.

Tali approached him, “Hey Garrus, does this place have anything decent for us to drink?” she asked.

“I’ve found it’s best to just stick with the Turian brandy,” he answered. “If you ask, I’m sure they can triple filter it for you. Just tell them you are personal friends with Garrus Vakarian, hero of the Citadel and mighty defeater of the Reapers!”

“Ahem,” she responded, “In case you haven’t noticed, I too, am a hero of the Citadel and defeater of the Reapers. I’m also an Admiral. So I outrank you, Vakarian.”

Garrus reached out to hug her. “It’s great to see you Tali. It’s been a long time.”

“Yes, it took forever to get back to Rannoch with the fleet, but everything is starting to flourish,” she informed him. “I was just relieved when the last of the Mass Relays connecting the Far Rim and the Citadel were finally repaired. It makes travel so much easier to this part of space.”

“Great party you have here, Garrus,” Joker approached with the recently repaired EDI on his arm. “Tell me, do you leave that stick up your ass for special occasions or is that strictly for casual affairs?”

“Joker,” EDI reprimanded him, “that is not a polite greeting. Standard greetings for this type of event include…”

“EDI,” Joker interrupted, “it was a joke. I swear we need to adjust that humor protocol of yours. It doesn’t seem to have been fixed properly.”

“It’s okay,” Garrus responded. “It’s so great to see you EDI. I was concerned we would never see you up and running again.”

“Yes, it took quite a while to get me back in a functional state and then back into my body,” she replied.

“Hey, I couldn’t let the best looking AI in the galaxy cease to exist, could I?“ Joker asked. “It was slow going there for a while, but once Traynor & Adams were able to get her cognitive functions restored the rest of the work went relatively quickly.”

“Well, you look radiant,” Garrus told EDI. “I’d stay and chat more, but Joker looks like he’s dying to ask you to dance.”

“That is an excellent idea,” EDI agreed.

“Hey you know I don’t dance!” Joker interjected glaring at Garrus. “That’s sneaky and underhanded, even for you. I’m impressed.”

Then he sighed and turned back to EDI. “Okay, okay. Just go easy on me. I don't want to break my pelvis like I did last time.”

“But you didn’t break your pelvis when we were dancing, Jeff,” she responded. “If you remember, we were in your quarters and…”

“Not now, EDI,” Joker interrupted as he led her towards the dance floor.

Shaking his head and smiling, Garrus walked over to where Kaidan, James and Steve were chatting.

“Hey Scars,” James said, “I was just catching up with Kaidan and Esteban. I haven’t seen Kaidan since he attended my Spectre ceremony two years ago. But it seems like no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get rid of Estaban over there.”

“You know you’d be lost without me, Vega,” Steve retorted.

“Third human Spectre, James,” Kaidan said. “Not bad for such a young whippersnapper.”

“You know it, old man,” he replied.

“Yes, it seems you human Spectres are multiplying like rabbits,” Garrus stated. “But I do believe a congratulations is in order.”

“James Vega,” he said striking a pose, “the best looking Spectre of all time.”

“I’d definitely say that’s up for debate,” Kaidan protested.

“Exactly,” Garrus agreed. “Shepard was so much better looking than either one of you.”

“That may be true, but you know you want to date me Garrus,” James teased. “Too bad I’m a one woman man and you aren’t a woman.”

“And for that,” Garrus replied, “we are both thankful.”

“Thanks for inviting us, Garrus,” Kaidan said. “I heard you celebrated Shepard’s birthday every year, but I thought you wanted to keep the day to yourself.”

“It was becoming such a lonely day,” he said. “I wanted to remember all the good times with those who knew her best.”

“Here, here,” said James raising his drink. “To Shepard!”

“To Shepard,” repeated Garrus, Kaidan and Steve.

As the party progressed, Garrus spent time reminiscing with his old friends until just about everyone had left. Walking over to the bar, Garrus put in his yearly order for brandys and the bartender set them down in front of him.

“Nice party,” Shepard piped up from the stool next to him at the end of the bar.

Garrus turned to look at her. “It was rather nice, wasn’t it?”

“It was great to see the old gang again,” she replied. “Everyone looks like they are doing well for themselves.”

“They grow up so fast, don’t they?” Garrus mused.

“So, what have you been up to this past year?” she asked. “Still running around as Archangel?”

“I can’t think of any better way to serve the galaxy post-Shepard,” he answered. “Lots of running, lot of jumping, and lots of saving innocents from pirates and other nefarious types. It’s certainly more fun and interesting than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.”

“I don’t know Garrus,” she teased, “you know how those Krogan women love a man with an eyepatch.”

“Thanks, Shepard,” he replied, “but you know you’re the only one for me.”

“I know, Garrus,” she said, her voice becoming serious, “but you really ought to think about getting out there again. You can’t spend your entire life alone, pining away. You would make any woman blissfully happy.”

“I don’t want to make any woman blissfully happy, only you and that just isn’t going to happen,” he responded, looking intensely into her eyes. “Besides, the only woman who can make me happy is you. And the one thing that helps me keep it together is showing up here every year on your birthday.”

He saw the look of concern on her face and added, “Please don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I promise. I’ve got some great people working with me. I’m not alone. I’ll never be alone, remember?”

“Yes,” she said softly. “There is no Shepard without Vakarian.”

“Shepard, you know I would do anything for you. If you asked me to sprout wings and learn to fly, I’d figure out a way make that happen. But this,” he pleaded, “please don’t ask it of me.”

Shepard watched as Garrus picked up his glass and drained the last of its contents.

“Happy birthday, Shepard. Until next year,” his voice sounding a bit melancholy.

“Next year,” she replied.

Garrus walked out as the bartender cleared away the empty and full glass.


	3. Forty

“Garrus!” shouted an already inebriated Wrex, “Happy Shepard Day!”

“Happy Shepard Day to you too, Wrex,” Garrus replied.

“Glad I could make it out for the celebration,” he said. “What’s it been, 40 years?”

“Something like that,” Garrus responded. “How are things on Tuchanka?”

“Well, I’m not dead yet,” he said proudly. “Although we just had to petition the council for yet another world.”

“How did that go over?” Garrus asked.

“About as well as you’d expect,” said Wrex.

“Should I be worried?” asked Garrus.

“Nah,” he grinned. “I’ll throw a big stink with the Council, they will get all huffy, and somewhere along the way, we’ll figure something out.”

“I see that Grunt has made a real name for himself in the last few decades,” Garrus noted.

“Yeah, the little whelp has shown himself worthy of being a true Krogan and one day, my successor,” he said. “Unfortunately for him, I have a sturdy constitution. I might outlive him yet.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised, Wrex,” Garrus agreed. “Not surprised in the least.”

Garrus turned and saw James enter the bar, accompanied by both of his grown sons and a beautiful woman with dark & silver hair.

“James,” he called out. “So good to see you!”

“Scars!” he cried. “Thought I’d bring the family this time. I don’t think you’ve met them yet.”

“No I haven’t,” he confirmed.

“Garrus, this is my wife, Rebecca,” he said, “And these are my sons Shepard and Emilio. Emilio is named after the uncle who helped raise me after my mom died. And this little bundle of joy in his arms is my granddaughter Maria.”

“Nice to meet you all,” said Garrus. “Still hard to believe you finally settled down, James. With a granddaughter even. Where does the time go?”

“Well, it all seems to come together when you meet the right woman, Scars,” he replied as he excused himself to join the rest of the party.

“That is does,” Garrus muttered under his breath.

James wasn’t the only one to bring family. Kaidan had been bringing his family for years. He married a woman he met while serving as Captain of the Normandy and had three daughters. He retired from the Alliance a few years ago, but he kept himself busy teaching at an academy for biotic students. Tali married a Quarian man and they had produced a son, although due to her Admiralty position, he didn’t see her at these events as often as he would have liked. It seemed that just about everyone now had a family of their own. Even Joker and EDI had adopted a couple of robot dogs.

He looked across the room where Liara was deep in conversation with Joker and EDI. In the last couple of years, Joker had been confined to a wheelchair due to Vrolik syndrome, but that had not slowed down his love of flying in the least and he still got out there every chance he got.

They all seemed happy. They all were happy. Garrus felt a pang of jealousy at not being able to raise that family he and Shepard had talked about, but given the circumstances, he was okay with the way things had turned out for him. Besides, he helped people. And when he did that, he felt closer to Shepard.

Garrus found himself at the end of the night ordering two drinks and sitting down on the stool at the end of the bar.

“Happy Shepard Day!” he said raising his glass in the air and turning to see her looking at him. “You are officially old.”

“You sure have a way with women, don’t you Garrus?” she retorted. “And I wish you’d stop saying that. It’s a bit disturbing to have your birthday made an official holiday.”

“So you keep reminding me. But hey, any reason for us mere mortal folk to celebrate and have a few drinks,” he replied as he lifted the glass to his lips.

“Besides, you’re one to talk,” she said. “You’re the one not getting any younger.”

“True,” he responded. “Things are a little bit rougher on the body these days, but I’m still managing. Did I tell you about the smuggling ring I took down on Illium?”

“No, I don’t think you have,” she replied. “Tough fight?”

“Very tough,” he said. “They had us pinned down. Just me and a couple members of my squad. But in the end, I just thought about what you would do, and we pulled a victory out of our asses.”

“Was there room in there for a victory with that stick up there?” Shepard teased.

“I will never, ever, live that down, will I?” he asked.

“Not a chance,” Shepard replied. “So, how is everyone else. I’ve been noticing more and more family showing up to these events. And is that James’ granddaughter over there?”

“Yes, if you can believe it,” Garrus answered. “And if James’ youngest son keeps making those googly eyes at Kaidan’s oldest daughter, he just might find his family expands faster than he expected.”

“If his son is half the flirt his father is,” she said, “that poor girl won’t stand a chance.”

They both laughed and sat there for a while, enjoying each other’s company. 

Finally, Garrus drained the final contents of his glass and stood up. “Happy 82nd birthday, Shepard. Here’s to many more happy reunions.” 

And keeping with tradition, the bartender picked up both glasses, one full and one empty, as Garrus strolled out of the bar and down the stairs.


	4. One Hundred Five

Garrus walked into the familiar surroundings of the bar. It’s like he could feel the weight of all 135 of his years bearing down on him, yearning to be free. He knew he wouldn’t be able to make this trip forever, but he was determined not miss it this year. 

Over time, he noticed that the number of the old crew that showed up for this event had slowly dwindled, a result of old age and health concerns. Sometimes family members would come to share the day with him, but mostly the room was filled with strangers celebrating the holiday that was Shepard’s birthday. 

Even after all these years, people knew who he was and inevitably someone would buy him a round or two. Younger celebrants would pester him to tell old war stories, passing the time until well into the night.

He spotted Liara, who was a spritely 214, across at the bar ordering drinks. Ever since he invited her to the event 100 years ago, he couldn’t remember her ever missing it. She would make it a point sit down to catch up on the previous year and talk about the old days. Hers was a friendship he valued beyond words. 

He saw the bartender set three drinks down on the bar.

“Liara,” he said as he sat down beside her, making sure to leave the chair on the end empty for Shepard. “It’s great to see that you were able to make it. You might be the only one again this year. It means so much to me that you are here.”

“Oh Garrus,” she muttered into her glass. “I promise I will never miss this. I will make sure I am here to carry on the tradition.” 

“I appreciate it,” Garrus replied.

She raised her glass in the air. “Here’s to the best Turian and one of the closest friends I’ve ever known. May you finally find the happiness you are looking for.”

“Are you okay, Liara?,” he asked, not quite understanding. “Did you want to talk about it?”

“I...I, just need to find a quiet place to be alone with my thoughts for a while,” she whispered. He could see the tears welling up in her eyes as she finished the rest her drink in one gulp before rushing from the room. 

He was in no shape to hurry after her and he was already seated next to Shepard’s chair. He would find her later to talk. He knew that the difference in lifespans was starting to wear on her as the rest of Normandy’s crew grew older. Such was the way of a long lived species like the Asari.

He was lost in thought when he heard Shepard sit down next to him. 

“Howdy, stranger,” she said. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Garrus turned to look at her. She was as beautiful as ever. For a second, he almost felt like she was actually there beside him. As if for the first time in all these years of celebrating her birthday she was here in the flesh.

“Hey there, Shepard,” he replied. “Care for a drink? Liara’s buying.”

“Always,” she responded.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was different this year. She felt more real to him than she had for ages and that thought made him happier than he had been for ages.

“How are things, Garrus? Anything exciting?” she asked putting her head on his shoulder. He shuddered as he felt her hair on his chin and her familiar scent filling his nostrils.

“Well, you know how things are,” he replied resting his head on hers. “Same old, same old.”

“Did you go back to fighting pirates?” she inquired as she felt some of the newer scars that had formed on his arms.

“No, I’m still retired from that,” he answered. “Besides, how will the younger generation ever have a chance to prove themselves if I insist on beating up all the bad guys.”

“That’s true,” she purred, still caressing his arm, which sent shivers up his spine.

“Although earlier today I did help a young family on the Citadel,” he recounted. “I saw a group of thugs demanding all their credits and I couldn’t stand by and let that happen.”

“What did you do?” she asked.

“What I always do. I got in their faces and told them to beat it before I got really angry,” he replied. “Then I held them off while the family got themselves to safety. Of course the thugs didn’t like that, so they took it out on me.”

“Sounds like something you would do,” she remarked, lifting her head to look at the fresh scar on the side of his face. “Though you never were smart enough to learn how to duck.

Garrus reached up and felt his head, but realized it wasn’t hurting anymore. Same with the rest of his injuries. He remembered receiving all of them, but the presence of Shepard seemed to drown out any sense of pain he was feeling when he walked in.

“I actually had the upper hand until one of them got me from behind and knocked me down. I wasn’t down long, maybe a few seconds, but they used that moment to run. So while I may not have the same reflexes I once did, this old Turian can still kick some ass.”

“A hero to the last, Garrus,” she grinned. “Just the kind of Turian I could fall for.”

“Oh really?” he asked as he reached out to touch her face. “My rugged good looks weren’t enough for you?”

“Oh, that’s just icing on the cake,” she cooed. “What do you say we get out of here and go some place quieter? This time, I’m buying.”

“That’s the best damn idea I’ve heard in a long time,” he answered. 

He reached out to pull her close. For a moment, he was afraid to move, fearing that she would disappear and he would be all alone again. But he felt her warm breath on his face as she reached up to kiss him. The sensation almost overwhelmed him. He felt like he was finally home.

He didn’t notice the bartender clearing away the two full glasses sitting next to Liara’s empty one as he linked arms with Shepard and headed for the door.


End file.
